Struggles

(I’ve gone back and forth about publishing this post.  I’m afraid I seem ungrateful for the ways God has so richly blessed our little family.  I know these struggles are petty and unimportant in the grand scheme, but this is me – being as honest as I know how.  However, I also want to convey that I am beyond excited to be moving to the Dominican Republic and taking part in what God has planned for us and for these precious people.)

As a parent, I now understand why people want to give their kids the best in life.  Dominican preparations continue, and I’ve found that I’ve been struggling with the idea that my boys will be “missing out” on certain things because we’re moving to another country.  When we visit a church that’s advertising their AWANA or VBS program, I think about how much fun Noah would have singing the songs and doing the crafts there.  And with his second birthday coming up in a few months, I wonder how exciting it would be to plan a party with friends and family, complete with Elmo cupcakes for all the guests and a plethora of presents for my big boy.  When we go on fun family excursions, I can’t help but think, “Will this be the last time Noah and Leyton get to play at the park?”  Or “How many more trips will they take to Grandma’s house to get spoiled?”

In my head, I know my boys don’t need certain things or experiences.  But there are times I still struggle with wanting to give them those things.

Over the past week, God has really been helping me change my mindset in this area.  And I’m realizing some very important truths.

1.) Giving my kids the “best” doesn’t mean they need the cutest clothes or the neatest toys.  It’s not that I’ll never give them anything nice when I’m able, but there is a balance.  Last time I checked, loving them and teaching them to love God and others doesn’t require much money…

2.) The things I want for them are exactly that – the things want.  What’s most important is what God wants, and I’m pretty sure He’s not so concerned about the brand of clothing on their backs or the size of their playroom.  In a way, I’m relinquishing control.  (I think I’m going to be working on this whole “letting go” bit for the next 18 years or so.)

3.) My little dudes aren’t actually going to be “missing out”.  They will simply have different experiences than I had – hopefully some experiences that broaden their horizons and make them better people.

Just my thoughts recently.  The next couple of weeks are going to be huge for us in figuring out if we’ll actually make our projected May moving date.  Eager to get to DR soon!

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