Enough

A dead soul coming to life after an encounter with a risen Savior. A Dominican and American finding a connection despite the language barrier. A child choosing to control his frustration instead of physically lashing out at a classmate.  How I love seeing God’s hand at work in the Dominican. Living here has given me more joy than I can express…

Today, however, is different. Today, I don’t have a cutesy story about a pre-schooler sharing a crayon or a miraculous example of a young boy accepting Christ. In reality, the past couple of weeks have brought some very real struggles for our family. I can’t point to one big moment where everything “fell apart.” Instead, we’ve been experiencing a thousand tiny frustrations that have slowly crawled under our skin. And we’ve been left scratching at those annoyances until the blood has started to flow.

I’d venture to say that the last 10ish days have been some of the hardest that Scott and I have endured since moving to the DR. We’ve dealt with feelings of failure, moments of miscommunication, battles with bitterness, and heaviness of heart. Some may call it homesickness. Others say it’s culture shock. Whatever the name, Satan has been using every strategy in his playbook to skew our perspectives, to keep us discouraged, to tempt us to listen to his lies. Talk about wrestling “against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.” (Eph. 6:12, KJV)

A few nights ago, I felt like I had come to the end of myself. I didn’t know how to be there for my husband anymore. I didn’t know how to respond to some dashed plans we had made. I didn’t know how to take care of my babies who need me every waking hour.

But then I heard Him. Not so much audibly. Instead, God just whispered to my heart several times over a truth so simple – that He is enough.

Reminder #1 came resounding through Yuleisy’s computer speakers in the form of this song as we sat working in the office. Look at Me, He said. Quit focusing on these circumstances and worship Me for who I am. I am enough.

Reminder #2 came through an email from my dad: “This has been the strangest year of my life. But in all of the anxiety and doubts, I’ve learned things in ways I never had before. Over and over God keeps driving home this lesson: just place the little insufficient resources you have in His hands, and He will do His part. He has reasons. Always. Now is when faith is so important.” And so I heard Him again. I am enough.

Reminder #3 flooded over me as we traveled the bumpy, dusty roads in the early morning for another pre-school day. The landscape changes dramatically from our house to the bateyes – we roll through flat fields full of sugar cane, ride up and down a curvy mountain of sorts, drive over a calm yet dirty river, and cruise through a somewhat tropical, jungle area abounding with vines and forest trees. I heard the Voice again – the same Voice that spoke those words in Matthew 6 so many years ago: “Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them… See the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these…” Remember, child. I. am. enough.

I have to ask myself: do I really believe it? Do I really believe that God is big enough and good enough and loving enough to meet me where I’m at right now? In my head, I know that He is. He says so and proves so. But living that out in faith – that’s what I want.

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8 thoughts on “Enough

  1. Beautifully said from your heart my friend. You guys are missionaries, sent by God and for God!!! Your work is valuable and important!!! You may get down and out sometimes and that my friend I believe is because we are limited in our human nature (Remember what Pastor John always says, “We are not human beings having a spiritual experience, but rather we are spiritual being having a human experience, ” Praying against the attacks of Satan, discouragement, disappointment, fear, lack of clarity, etc. are all ploys he uses and I am praying specifically against these attacks fro Satan this very week.. We love you guys and I am always available by Skype, FB message or phone when you need a friend 🙂

    • Thank you for the prayers, Cindy! Miss you guys a ton. It’s so encouraging to have friends who lift us up to our Heavenly Father and support us in every way. Love you!

  2. He is faithful, and He is enough. Thank you for sharing your hurts and concerns so we can pray for you better. Satan does not like it when people go all out for God and He has been practicing on discouraging people for many years. Please let us know how we can continue to support you!

    Blessings in Christ, Mark and Cindy Evans

    ________________________________

    • Mark and Cindy, thank you so very much – even from far away, what a blessing you are to our family. We absolutely love being a part of what God is doing here, and it’s amazing that you are enabling us to do that with your continued prayers and support. To God be the glory!

  3. thank you for sharing that – I do find myself thinking that because you are doing work for God there you are always doing great – I promise to increase my prayer support for you all – miss ya – love ya

    • Loren, we love you guys too. I don’t think I understood the power of prayer much until we moved here. What a difference it makes to have our friends and family supporting us in this way from so many miles away. You are such an encouragement to our family! Miss ya!

  4. Your grandpa is away in a meeting right now and he sent me a text telling me about this blog and how proud he was of you. Thank you for posting. We are praying for you. Love you, Grandma Vi

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